Hey Thrivers! Recently, I decided to go on a self-healing journey. The theme of this journey is “No amount of self-improvement can make up for any lack of self-acceptance.” My goal is to work on developing positive habits. I feel that generally have a positive mindset. I feel like usually when you hear someone tell you to have a positive mindset, it means just focus on the positive even when things are going wrong. But this time I’m digging deeper. I am getting real with myself about my underlying self-limiting beliefs and developing the right positive habits. I am getting real with myself about unresolved inner child trauma. Yup, all the dark parts of ourselves that we sometimes deliberately choose to ignore. I wanted to share what my journey has been like so far on developing the right positive mindset along with positive habits.
In the past several years, I have worked on building an attitude of gratitude. So I chose to focus on the abundance in my life. This has helped me to attract even more good things in my life, especially when I put in the work for it. But recently I had a huge realization that I have a lot of work to do. I started learning more and more about manifesting, affirmations, and the law of attraction. While learning more about this, I came to understand that I was just doing the work on the surface. In order for me to attract the right opportunities and people into my life, I had to work on my inner self first. Because I neglected that work in the past, I was stuck in a pattern for the past few years. I was achieving goals here and there, but still felt stuck.
So what am I talking about in regards to having a positive mindset? Yes, having a positive mindset involves beginning and ending your day with gratitude. What moments are you grateful for today? Part of developing a positive mindset is also scripting what your ideal life looks like. It involves daily (powerful) affirmations. What I’ve learned is that affirmations will not work without self-acceptance. You can’t tell yourself you are worthy when subconsciously, you don’t believe you’re worthy of living this amazing life of your dreams.
I have been trying to do the following things to help shift my perspective and develop a positive mindset. I have been working on being more self-aware. Let’s be real – You will not be in a happy mood everyday. You’re human. I’m human. Life gets to us sometimes. So I allow myself to feel my emotions whatever they may be. I don’t try to mask it anymore or distract myself. I do my best now to figure out what triggered that feeling and what is the appropriate label for this emotion. For example, in the past I may have told myself I feel sad. Whereas now, I would think about what is causing that emotion to arise and I would think, well am I feeling demotivated? Am I feeling lazy? Am I feeling defeated, rejected, etc.? I allow myself to sit with those feelings.
Just remember that certain times, your diet, sleep, and level of stress all can contribute to your emotions and heighten them. Be mindful of that as well. Once I identify these things, I just come to an understanding of that feeling and just focus on accepting it. Sometimes that’s all we need to do. It’s not always about removing that feeling.
Another way in which I have been focusing on developing a positive mindset is understanding how certain patterns of behavior in my adulthood stem from my inner child trauma. In fact, what I came to identify today was that I never felt good enough as a child. I felt like I was constantly competing with my siblings and with other kids. I love my parents and I know they always meant to push me to do better. But the reality is that, I internalized conversations and the way things were communicated as a child a certain way. I ended up becoming a people pleaser as an adult. I ended up being very self-critical and struggled to forgive myself. In turn, I struggled to develop healthy boundaries, speaking up for myself in the workplace, and learning to say no when I felt I had to put my needs first.
Not gonna lie, this was HUGE for me today! It’s not easy to get to this realization. But because I have now identified the root and the behavioral patterns as a result, it has enabled me to be much more mindful of this in my everyday life. I recently started speaking up for myself in the workplace. I wouldn’t allow anyone to mistreat me (developing a healthy boundary) or allow someone else’s lack of communication to make me seem like a less productive employee. Instead I brought up where the disconnect was and how to come up with a solution.
I guess the point is that a big part of developing a positive mindset is understanding yourself better. Study your subconscious thoughts that have affected your relationships, your career, and your health even! As you do that, wake up everyday thanking the universe, God, or whomever you believe in, for giving you another opportunity to be better, to be great! Focus on all the good that is already present in your life. Always end your day with gratitude as well. I highly recommend doing affirmations as well. But I will probably get more detailed with this in future posts. Continue to do things that you love as well. Write down a list of things you can do to practice self-love and spend everyday doing 1 of those activities for a short amount of time to help ground you.
Hope this helps! Take Care Thrivers!