Hey Thrivers! Happy Humpy Day. I wanted to share something I have recently started for myself. It is my 90 day challenge. Originally what sparked this challenge was just me going through a period of feeling stuck. I felt like I wasn’t moving forward in life and was unhappy with my current situation. So I decided to start a 90 day challenge. I didn’t look up ideas online I kind of just catered it to myself and my needs.
This challenge is really about three key things: self-awareness, self-improvement, and self-love. The awareness will allow me to understand where I need to improve and I can only do so my accepting who I am and embracing who I am. Now let’s be real – a 90 day challenge does not mean I am done and transformed at the end of the 90 days. In fact, the idea is the 90 days will kick start my journey. The best part is I catered the challenge specifically to what I wanted. But also the best decision I made is I found an accountability partner. One that would stick with me and take this as seriously as myself.
So what we did is we video called and started brainstorming what this challenge means for us and some of the key things we came up with were:
- No dating for the 90 days – no distractions because we are focusing on ourselves
- Consistency – finding an activity to keep us consistent and to learn something new. We both chose a language to learn.
- Self-love – I chose for myself that the ways in which I want to practice more self-love is being consistent with my workouts, eating better, and practicing gratitude. I started reading The Magic which I started at the perfect time. The book has different activities for you to do each day to practice mindfulness and gratitude. Since I started the book I have gained so much more clarity in my life, my relationships are stronger, I attracted a new job offer, and overall have felt in much more control of my life
- Self-Awareness – I also started educating myself more and more on something called shadow work or inner child work. This is basically when you start to understand and become more aware of unhealed/unresolved trauma from childhood. I actually came to learn about this from TikTok believe it or not! But there are an ample amount of resources on this out there so I highly recommend learning about it. In short, unresolved trauma from our childhood develops into our patterns of behavior as adults. For example, becoming a people pleaser as an adult (guilty), not feeling worthy, constantly doubting yourself, etc. The list goes on and on. Until you don’t become aware of that and resolve it, you will continue those same thought patterns and be stuck wondering why you keep ending up in the same unhappy situations in life.
All of these things have helped me tremendously since I started this challenge. I have worked on meditating more, manifesting and affirmations, and doing all of the mental and emotional work needed that I had not focused on before. Here’s the thing, I have worked on myself in the past and I really thought I had my shit together when it came to that. But this time around, I really started digging and re-framing my thoughts to better understand myself and who I want to be to avoid getting thrown back into the same cycle.
I wanted to share some of the gems I learned from keeping up with this “challenge” so far:
- Setting healthy boundaries and speaking up for myself – Like I said I have always been a people pleaser, something I picked up as a child. Growing up in a traditional Desi household as a girl can shape you into believing that your role as a woman is to take care of everyone and make sure they’re happy, no matter how thin you spread yourself out. I started becoming more assertive in what I needed from people especially in the workplace and this helped me A TON! At first I felt bad but then I realized that I was doing nothing wrong establishing a boundary of how I should be treated.
- “You are more than good enough my love” – This was something I had to get real about with myself. I dealt with a lot of self-doubt growing up and especially into my adulthood. Embracing myself, knowing that I am a loving and supportive person who only deserves people who reflect that same love and support. This also affected my creative side and wanting to share that part of me without caring about judgement.
- “No one is you” – I started focusing on all those little moments where I was comparing myself to others. I was doing this more often in a physical sense. But I am learning slowly to appreciate who I am on the outside and inside.
- Embody everything you want in life – Shit does not just magically transform for you. If you want the life you want, then you’re going to have to put in the work for it. Even in those moments where it is uncomfortable. For me, that meant gaining a new perspective and working on my relationships at home.
Like I mentioned, this is truly a journey. It takes a lot to get comfortable being uncomfortable. But trust me it is always worth it. I have been really enjoying and learning this process. Learning to be conscious of my thoughts because they develop your behavior, your choices and actions. One thing I recommend to all of you is to start your day with gratitude and end your day with gratitude. It puts your mind in a better perspective of everything and a higher vibration.